I love Christmas time.
I love putting up the nativity scenes (all four of them). I love hanging the stockings. I love sending out and putting up Christmas cards. I love decorating the Christmas tree and remembering when and where we got the ornaments.
The one thing I don't really care for is buying Christmas presents. I know a lot of people enjoy thinking about and hunting for what to get each individual, pondering how to make the gifts special, etc.
I don't enjoy those things.
They stress me out.
The only gift I enjoyed pondering about and hunting for this year was D's (which is unusual).
So, before Christmas I was feeling totally like a Grinch. I was begrudging the time and energy I was spending trying to get gifts for everyone (I wasn't feeling good anyway and obviously this holiday is all about me). I didn't care about the looks on their faces as they opened the gifts. I didn't care about giving gifts in the spirit of the Wise Men.
But, just like the Grinch, my heart grew! (It just took a little while...)
I realized tonight (yeah, four days after Christmas) that we are so blessed.
Despite my crankiness and Grinch-iness, family members loved me anyway. They reached into their hearts (and opened their homes) and truly embodied the spirit of Christmas. I feel the Christmas spirit more now than I did four days ago on Christmas day. Their gifts were beyond meaningful - truly what I needed (gifts of kindness, love, patience). My heart grew full of their love and made me realize how much I love them too. I wish I could re-do Christmas over again and embody the spirit of Christmas myself.
Instead, I'll try to carry it with me all year long instead and look for ways to reach into my heart and give what people need - kindness, love and patience (among other things). Because Christmas isn't about the stuff (which is what I spent all my time on this Christmas). It's about the feelings! Giving of yourself.
I will try to be more selfless and less of a Grinch.
I love putting up the nativity scenes (all four of them). I love hanging the stockings. I love sending out and putting up Christmas cards. I love decorating the Christmas tree and remembering when and where we got the ornaments.
The one thing I don't really care for is buying Christmas presents. I know a lot of people enjoy thinking about and hunting for what to get each individual, pondering how to make the gifts special, etc.
I don't enjoy those things.
They stress me out.
The only gift I enjoyed pondering about and hunting for this year was D's (which is unusual).
So, before Christmas I was feeling totally like a Grinch. I was begrudging the time and energy I was spending trying to get gifts for everyone (I wasn't feeling good anyway and obviously this holiday is all about me). I didn't care about the looks on their faces as they opened the gifts. I didn't care about giving gifts in the spirit of the Wise Men.
But, just like the Grinch, my heart grew! (It just took a little while...)
I realized tonight (yeah, four days after Christmas) that we are so blessed.
Despite my crankiness and Grinch-iness, family members loved me anyway. They reached into their hearts (and opened their homes) and truly embodied the spirit of Christmas. I feel the Christmas spirit more now than I did four days ago on Christmas day. Their gifts were beyond meaningful - truly what I needed (gifts of kindness, love, patience). My heart grew full of their love and made me realize how much I love them too. I wish I could re-do Christmas over again and embody the spirit of Christmas myself.
Instead, I'll try to carry it with me all year long instead and look for ways to reach into my heart and give what people need - kindness, love and patience (among other things). Because Christmas isn't about the stuff (which is what I spent all my time on this Christmas). It's about the feelings! Giving of yourself.
I will try to be more selfless and less of a Grinch.
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