When I was little, I was the kind of kid who would go up to strangers in the grocery store or restaurants and start talking. I had no reservations, no embarrassment about meeting and talking to new people.
I don't know when it changed, but as I grew older, I stopped reaching out. I would never characterize myself as shy at any point in my life, but I stopped talking to strangers and was embarrassed to open up and share.
Recently, I've been thinking a lot about this change. I have gone through some really lonely times when all I wanted was to have someone to connect with. And yet, I was embarrassed to open up and say anything because what would they think of me.
I don't think I'm the only one who has experienced this. Especially as I've looked at facebook and twitter and blogs. We have all of these ways of reaching out to try and connect with each other, but we're too scared or too ashamed to just say what we have to say openly. Instead, we post vague status updates on fb like "I just wish that things were different" or something hoping that anyone will ask what's going on and give us the opportunity to open up and connect. We'll post tweets about what we're doing hoping that someone will connect and want to do things with us too. And we post blogs where we open up and hope someone will comment and connect with what we're writing.
When I am struggling with something, I know that I want is someone I can share my burden with. Yet, if someone asks how I'm doing, I answer "fine." I don't say that I'm struggling or frustrated or sad or whatever. I don't say that I'm shouldering a heavy trial.
Why don't we just talk honestly with each other?
Why are we embarrassed or ashamed or scared to share our struggles with each other?
I know that when I was baptized to be a member of the LDS church, I covenanted to bear other's burdens. And I know others who were baptized made the same covenant. So why don't I let anyone share in bearing my burdens?
I've decided I'm done being closed off about my life. Not that I'm going to run up to people and say "guess what I'm going through?!" but if someone asks, I'm not going to pretend. Maybe what I am struggling with can strengthen other people as we struggle and share burdens together. My trials are not who I am, rather they're just a part of what's shaping me. My struggles are not embarrassing, nor should I be scared about opening up to others.
In the few times that I've tried, I haven't been disappointed.
So, here's to a more open life!
I don't know when it changed, but as I grew older, I stopped reaching out. I would never characterize myself as shy at any point in my life, but I stopped talking to strangers and was embarrassed to open up and share.
Recently, I've been thinking a lot about this change. I have gone through some really lonely times when all I wanted was to have someone to connect with. And yet, I was embarrassed to open up and say anything because what would they think of me.
I don't think I'm the only one who has experienced this. Especially as I've looked at facebook and twitter and blogs. We have all of these ways of reaching out to try and connect with each other, but we're too scared or too ashamed to just say what we have to say openly. Instead, we post vague status updates on fb like "I just wish that things were different" or something hoping that anyone will ask what's going on and give us the opportunity to open up and connect. We'll post tweets about what we're doing hoping that someone will connect and want to do things with us too. And we post blogs where we open up and hope someone will comment and connect with what we're writing.
When I am struggling with something, I know that I want is someone I can share my burden with. Yet, if someone asks how I'm doing, I answer "fine." I don't say that I'm struggling or frustrated or sad or whatever. I don't say that I'm shouldering a heavy trial.
Why don't we just talk honestly with each other?
Why are we embarrassed or ashamed or scared to share our struggles with each other?
I know that when I was baptized to be a member of the LDS church, I covenanted to bear other's burdens. And I know others who were baptized made the same covenant. So why don't I let anyone share in bearing my burdens?
I've decided I'm done being closed off about my life. Not that I'm going to run up to people and say "guess what I'm going through?!" but if someone asks, I'm not going to pretend. Maybe what I am struggling with can strengthen other people as we struggle and share burdens together. My trials are not who I am, rather they're just a part of what's shaping me. My struggles are not embarrassing, nor should I be scared about opening up to others.
In the few times that I've tried, I haven't been disappointed.
So, here's to a more open life!
i completely understand this conundrum. i am this way too- i think it comes with the social network thing. it really has become a way to say, "hey boyfriend that i am upset at, i hope you are reading into this vague status..." and i am totally guilty of it.
ReplyDeletehope you know you can always call or email me- cause it's true- we all have "things" we deal with, and we all need a reason to get out of our comfort zone...
{this is coming from one that stays in pajamas most days and screens calls cause i am turning into an anti-socialite too...}