Praying It's Soon

J has hit "terrible twos" with all the force he can muster.

And he's not quite 2 yet (he will be in less than a month).

But the tantrums, screaming, hitting, yelling "NO!" and the general mood-swings are in full affect around here.

He struggles with communication, too.  He talks with his mouth closed.  It's the strangest thing.  He'll open his mouth for about half of his words.  But the other half?  It's just one long guessing game (with a lot of "NOOOOO"'s from J when I guess wrong).

Don't get me wrong - he is still the sweetest, happiest, most adorable little boy I have ever met in my life.  We really do spend the majority of our time giggling, playing and exploring together.  

He just also happens to drive me bonkers some of the time.  

And yet, while I'm struggling with J (nap time took no less than 4 attempts spread out over 3 hours today), my heart aches for another child.

How much sense does that make?

None, actually.

Here I am with my hands full with a busy almost-two-year-old, teaching piano/voice 20 hours a week, and general mom/wife stuff (you know, things like Target trips).  

Life is wonderful, but it's not easy.

And I want to add to the wonderful, messy, chaotic, joyful-ness that is our lives.

I am so ready for the next placement call to come!

I hate the waiting part of being a foster mom.  I hate not knowing when the call will come for a placement.  I hate the unknown, not being able to plan or prepare (maybe it's the control freak in me).  

 I am praying that the next call will be the right fit for our family.  Maybe even a forever fit (fingers crossed!).  That our hearts and lives will be open to shower this child with love and embrace them into our craziness.

I'm praying it's soon.

Because even with the ups and downs, I wouldn't trade J for anything.  I wouldn't trade D.  I wouldn't trade my life.  And I can't wait to share all the love in this life with another little one.