Back in summer 2008 (also known as the worst summer of my life), D* and I went to therapy for my depression and anxiety.
*He went because he was my "primary care giver" and because I had no idea how to really communicate my needs to him yet.
While the therapy was less than helpful (because I didn't want to be there and I was a really good liar/faker), I did learn one thing.
Whenever the therapist would ask me how I was doing, I would say that I was tired.
Tired is the dominant expression of my d/a.
It's not like a "I need to go to sleep" tired.
It's more like I am burned-out, broken-down, drained, beat, weary, depleted.
It doesn't matter how much I sleep, how many caffeinated beverages I drink, how much I exercise or eat energy-rich foods I eat, I'm still tired.
But, I think I might've found something to help wake me up.
Yoga.
I took a yoga class in college and loved it.
I tried to keep doing yoga at home on my own.
But then, I kind of fell out of the habit.
I started doing it again this past week and holy amazing, Batman.
I've done at least 15 minutes every morning. Usually more.
And then another 15-30 minutes at night.
I have felt so much more awake and connected to my body.
And the awake-ness has lasted all day!
Maybe my days of being tired are over?
Hi Landon, We didn't really know each other in high school, but through mutual friends I saw your blog on Facebook (what a world we live in these days!) I just wanted to commend you for being so honest and open about your depression and anxiety. I've struggled with depression for a long time too, and I know it's hard to overcome all the messages internal and external telling us we should keep it hidden and be ashamed that we can't just be normal. So thank you and kudos for normalizing the experience. You're really making a difference by doing so. All the best to you and your family!
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